Monday, May 9, 2011

The End of Mr. Mom

Today my husband starts his first day of work in over two years.  I have several mixed feelings about him going back to work, some of which are related to my weight loss.  I am definitely relieved that he found a job before his unemployment ran out, but I am sad that our kids will have to be in full-time daycare now.  When he first got laid off, it was actually a blessing in disguise.  I was returning back to work from maternity leave after having our first child.  We both felt terrible about our 4-month old having to be in daycare, even though it was a trusted friend who was watching him.  My husband went to work that day only to find out that he had the choice between being laid off and taking unemployment, or being demoted to a laborer at a much lower wage.  We sat down, did the calculations, and decided it made more sense for him to stay home and raise our son for a little while than pay for daycare and have him work.  At the time, we expected it to be for about 6 months.  But, when no job prospects arose, we were very thankful unemployment kept getting extended.  Now, over two years later, he is on his last couple of months of unemployment.  Time for Mr. Mom to join the workforce.

The downside, of course, is having both children in daycare.  My two-year-old has been going to daycare for a few hours in the morning already.  That way the baby gets more attention and he gets some socialization.  For him, the longer day in daycare will be an adjustment, but he will be fine.  He won’t be napping at home, and the nap will probably be shorter than he is used to, but if I move his bedtime up a little, he shouldn’t be too tired.  My five-month-old will definitely have a lot to adapt to.  He is used to one-on-one daddy time all morning, and then again while his older brother naps for 2 ½ hours.  He has the terrible habit of napping in his swing, and I am worried he will have a hard time getting sleep at a noisy daycare with kids running around.  I know they probably won’t have time to rock him to sleep, and he doesn’t just magically go to sleep if you place him in his crib (at night he does, but naptimes are difficult for some reason).  I am hoping after a week or two he will be fine, though. 

The plus-side is that I will be more in control of my eating again.  Yes, I know that everything I put in my mouth is my decision, but it is difficult to stay on track when there are temptations all around.  For example, my husband made two pizzas for dinner the other night.  My plan was to eat something different, or maybe just eat one piece and have a salad with it.  Instead, he gave me a little guilt trip and told me he would have only made one pizza if he had known I wasn’t going to eat it.  I felt obligated to eat more than one piece, even though I should have just left the pizza for him to eat the next day.  Then, for Mother’s Day, he made me chocolate chip pancakes – my favorite!  I had three very large pancakes, which was not a good start to the day.  Later on, we got Chinese food for dinner – another dieting disaster.  I told him I should be eating healthy for dinner since my breakfast was so bad, but he convinced me that it was Mother’s Day, and I should eat what I want.  I told him later that I would like him to show support by encouraging me to eat healthy instead of convincing me I deserve fattening foods.  He told me I should have just said no to the unhealthy food, and that he didn’t force anything down my throat.  *sigh*  I left it at that instead of letting it turn into an argument, but he obviously didn’t get what I was saying.  Now, with him working the graveyard shift, I will miss him at night, but I will also not have him around to try to convince me to eat junk.

The other downside is that I will not get to see my husband much.  He will be working graveyard, which means he will be sleeping during the day and getting up to get ready to leave for work around dinner time.  I will be making my usual Hungry Girl dinners, but I am hoping not to stray as much as I have been the past few weeks.  I had a gain this week, and I am sick of being stuck at the same weight.  Every time I start to lose again, I give in to temptation and end up with a very small weight loss, or even a gain.  I have gotten into the habit of snacking after the kids go to bed, or having a high-point dessert and going over my daily points target.  Time to stop!

I am using this change in routine that our family is going through as an opportunity to start over with Weight Watchers.  I am going to track everything, and get back to how I was when I first began WW.  I have recently lost motivation, and I can see it on the scale.  I started with breakfast this morning.  I re-calculated everything I was eating, and realized that the sugar-free jam I have been putting on my Bagel Thin was indeed a point, when I had been assuming it was 0 points.  I made sure to measure the creamer for my coffee, and realized I had been putting in more than 1 point.  I am excited to re-evaluate things and get back on track to healthier eating.  I feel like I was on vacation from Weight Watchers, in a sense, and that maybe these changes are what I needed to regain my motivation. 

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